i entertain myself.

I can think of a MUCH cheaper way to make this happen:

The latest craze in anti-aging treatments is a sperm-based facial.  Called the Spermine Facial, it consists of slathering synthesized human sperm on your face and then running an ultrasound and infared light over the substance to help it, ahem, penetrate deeper. Townhouse Spa is currently offering this service for $250.  Apparently studies were conducted (can you imagine that clinical trial?) that showed that the antioxidant found in human sperm makes your skin softer and less wrinkly.

[yowza]